January 2011
1 post
“It’s like you’re talking to a really hot chick and then her sister...”
– jesus, i will never meet someone funnier
December 2010
6 posts
oh my gosh
life is so cool sometimes
“can i crash at your house? i mean can i sleep on your house? uh can i burn down...”
Listen
nothing but hurt
rightrightrightrightrightrightrightrightrightrightr...
Ive been adopted!
Sugarmama Harper
Sugardaddy Gridlock
i hope you remember
drivin me crazy
i need a good friend of you
but the only time. drunk.
were both awkward i guess
November 2010
16 posts
There was an eyelash in my rice; i ate it to get...
Oh, again
friend friend friend
can i be a duplicate
because im unsure
why is it hard
self
i try not to complain about stuff like this
But being grounded is some bogus bullshit
and im here for having someone over, not for leaving or anything..
what’s supposed to happen?
nothin’s gonna change..
im just gonna have to sneak out more.
harper
“Yeah, i heard the blimp has a new guitarman whoo’s 16 and takes alot of...”
FOR LIFE
The rock and roll house is the bomb. joining the blimp is one of the better things thats ever happened to me. i used to look at all these people from afar and say ‘damn’. radical, hilarious, intelligent rock and rollers. ive already had some of the best times of my life there and with these people. I love my life.
impatience
im getting too excited to be older
I should just be 16 and ride it out
but im doing nothing (good) when i do that
i just want a house
and to be as free as the country will let me
and women
im pretty much too young for all that
i guess i could get a house
crack open a beer and ride it out
it means what it is and so much else
this ball of dirt is dying
whats gonna matter after
Did i do good in school? no
Did i make alot of money? no
Did i look good? no
Did i have a good time? yes
thats all that matters. anything else only leads to this.
the ultimate goal.
humans are selfish
i do things for other people to make myself happy or satisfied or wtvs etc.
theres nothing wrong...
i need for someone to hold me
for someone to be in my presence
that knows how crazy i feel
and how crazy the world is
and can relate
and we cou ld sit on the ground and be overwhelmed together
maybe i need to make a phone call
no
i dont want to be a bother
obviously ive been listening to hella and gbv.
its silly as hell
the normalest most ignorant arrogant plain teenager could look like the craziest exciting person
and then the craziest most exciting radical excellent people around look so .. not standout.
i dont do anything right or on time.
i just woke up
he confidently said, with a disgruntled thousand...
ma brain wont leave you alone
you wont leave my brain alone
that lisp
SIIIGHHHH
im a little bit obsessed
the WEEKEND i always wanted
the people i always wanted to be surrounded by
the musssic
the times
October 2010
10 posts
......................................................
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...
I'm worse now
i dont mean what i wrote last night though.
There was one person that’s been helping me out alot the last few weeks just by being around them
And now i lost that
now i dont have
maryn
or chelsea
or alby
or drew
and britt’s too busy to have good friends
and that’s all my friends
and i dont have a house i want to be at
and i dont have a parental figure that i feel really...
dream
i was going to the oc and whatnot. playing harp in the talent show. playing this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3wXwUEDdRo . i had a little ladyfriend. then at some point everyone in the school started calling me a huge cunt including the lf and kids started trying to beat me up and steal my bike and stuff because i was homeless. which wasnt true.
control
out of it
……….
im floating between
:(
and
:|
feel totally nothing
but nothing has never felt so bad
longing
longing
and
longing
longing
and
longing
one word has never made me feel so bad
errr lost
and its skipping
in my head
i want to see you
but a part of me
never wants to see you again
delusional is the worst thing ive ever been called
a short poem after a long weekend
I’m only enough to be so much
the sharpie’s fading
the color’s changing
but i think thats all it means
..................................nothing.............
ive felt homesick for a week. life is someplace foreign and uncomfortable i dont want to be right now.
i disgust me, sometimes
it was time
im happy about it
its the start to the future
notes to self
work hard for what you want in life
be yourself
little less weed
get a job
take lcc classes at oc to leave fall term available
spend more time with family
stop smokin cigs as much
Ive got my foot in the door of some amazing opportunities
Im gettin real
id rather be angry than feel like this
powerless
and totally lost
its a great time to begin another 60's girl pop...
September 2010
16 posts
ahhh my lungs my eye my heart my brain
Everything is in pain!
and loud christian television. fuck that. thats the one thing i can fix.
i had a dream about some stuff i cant totally recall. then i was at the mall. i was supposed to buy jewelry. but i rode horseback downtown and then came to this strip of grass that was miles and miles and to the right side there was a fence and to the left side there were people partying and selling....
the reason i need to talk to you is the reason you...
bottle of anger shook up leakin foam
i need to express myself more
im too whatever
now im all freaked up
and all most hitting walls
CHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
CHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
CHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
CHILLLLLLLLLLLL
CHILLLLLLLLL
CHILLLLLL
CHILLL
CHILL
will be a full song soon. i call it i’ll...
1 tag
new and exciting mindset
i wonder if it will last
hey everyoneofyou http://www.reasoned.org/rs_txt17.htm
oh boy
lifes awesome
i think im joining the blimp
and i have friends with shelter and close
and school is entertaining me
and maryn
yeah sheesh what else could i want
your first eight are gone
one to go
dont you all go to hell
transparent steppin game
my ass is kicked
it feels great
realizations
im very at ease with my life
things are great
and messy
since im on the computer
programs i should check out
addictive drums
trilogy (for basslines)
hypersonic 2
anything by eastwest software
ableton live 8
reason with record
“you find the grain of sugar in the salt shaker that is I”
im not worried
about the future
its coming all the time
but it never hits you
once it hits you, its not the future
its your life
id like to hold you until i die
ill always be okay
so will you
ill always think of you
no matter what else takes my mind over
id like to hold you until i die
'nolan is too portland for eugene' - michael....
fuck portland. maybe there is something up there for me.. who would approve of me hanging with like.,..cassidy, i guess? and crazy assholes. and then like johnny.. i’d like that. really would. everyone is leaving eugene. I want more friends. but in eugene. dont want to change cities to be a part of a larger bullshit social scene
damn, STOP!
stop making my friends out to be bad people and expecting the worst of them.
stop making what’s out of control my fault.
stop making every conversation i have with you into something im doing wrong
ive got it under control. im doing okay. i dont need or want you to tell me what to do. you dont know what i need and what i know and what i want.
Yeeeeeeh
http://ripegrapefruit.tumblr.com/ask
August 2010
22 posts
Listen